The Hamilton Spoof Book
by inactiveaccountdontfollow
Summary: Welcome to The Hamilton Spoof Book! This is a spoof book, as you can probably already tell (assuming that you have a brain). Warning: read at your own risk. If you are not comfortable with excessive amounts of Nyanland, cats, sugar, and cringe, please do not read this book for the saftey of your health.
1. Chapter 1

Alex wanders through the house, looking for Eliza. He finds her in her closet. He bursts in, screaming at the top of his lungs. "ELIZA, WE NEED TO CALL THE MENTAL HOSPITAL. JOHN IS IN RHE LIVING ROOM HAVING A SPAZ ATTACK. PLEASEHELPSAVEJOHNDHSHSHXXH". Eliza raised an eyebrow, not sure what to think of her husband acting so crazy. She relaxed and looked for her phone. Alex calmed down a bit, but started to get hyped up again. "LET ME CALL!", Alex shouted. Eliza merely responded, " I seem to be the only sane one in this room right now." As if to prove Eliza's point, Alex flew to Nyanland.

Sorry, I got bored at the end there. This one wasn't as funny or random, sorry. But, let's face it, you were NOT suspecting that ending. You're welcome. Stay tuned for more!


	2. Chapter 2

Alex got home from work, and was extremly tired. He wanted to watch some tv, and was welcomed with an unpleasant sight. John Laurens was rolling around on the living room floor, bursting out randomness from his mouth. "HEY ALEX, YOU ARE HOME EARLY", he yelled. "WANT TO COME TO NYANLAND, LAND OF THE NYAN CATS?!". Alex backed away slowly. John continued to roll around on the floor, shouting "NYANLAND" at the top of his started running, franticly looking around for Eliza.

 **Sorry if it was bad, it was my first time writing on if these things. Stay tuned for more!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I was busy with other stuff. I have decided that you can start sending in requests for these things because I am running out of ideas. xD I've been devoloping this one in my head. Enjoy**!

Samuel Seabury had an idea on how to spread the word of his writing Thoughts On The Continental Congress. Instead of going into town, standing on a pedestal in the middle of the square, he decided that he would simply barge into people's houses without knocking.(xD Just realized how stupid this sounds. Onwards!) He approached the first house, tool out his ax that had randomly appeared, and cut a giant hole right through the door. "EXCUSE ME HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS!", he shouted at the top of his lungs. He heard screaming from upstairs, and who should be coming downstairs then Angelica Schuyler. Immediately, her hands flew to her mouth as she inspected the damage. "SEABURY! LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! I'M GONNA TELL MY DADDY ON YOU! DADDY!," the young woman screeched at the top of her lungs. Philip Schuyler promptly came running down the steps at his daughter's call. He gasped in surprise as he saw Samuel Seabury standing next to a very expensive, very broken door. "YOU", he screamed at the top of his lungs. "GET OUT OF MY ESTATE BEFORE I SLAP THE EYEBROWS RIGHT OFF OF YOUR FACE. (xD Just seemed right) NOW!" Sam quickly ran out, hoping he had better luck at the next house.

 **Well, that's one house down, many more to go. xD The poor idiot. So, what did you guys think? I was originally going to make him go to more houses, but then The Schuyler Idea happened. Yay. I have another spoof idea brewing in my head now, but otherwise i'm out of ideas, so feel free to suggest! Stay tuned!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello**!

It was a Saturday at the Hamilton's. Alexander was in his office, writing something, as usual. Eliza was in the living room, playing with Philip. All of a sudden, from the other room, a very loud shout rings out: "ALEX! COME QUICK! PHILIP IS SAYING IS FIRST WORDS!" Alex ran into the living room, bursting with excitement. He sat down next to Eliza, staring excitedly at Philip. "S-s-s-o", Philip stuttered. Then, he burst. "CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME." Eliza's look turned to horror and Alex's to one of utter mortality. Eliza smacked him and said, "LOOK WHAT YOU TAUGHT HIM." Alex fainted. Philip smiled.

 **Short and sweet. I literally came up with this yesterday. Stay tuned!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Set during Cabinet Battle #1, just so you know. Sorry for the late update. Enjoy!**

Alex and Thomas were in the middle of a very heated argument. There was quite a crowd in the stands, for they knew this would be exciting. "MADISON, UR MAD AS A HATTER SON, TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!," Alex shouted suddenly, the whole room went quiet, as Eliza yelled. "HONEY, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE AGAIN. COME TAKE A BREAK SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CONSTIPATION MEDICINE." Alex heated up, while Jefferson and Madison were laughing. Thomas leaned into Madison and whispered, "Never gonna be president now, huh?"

 **xD I love this one. Most of these come from the things me and my friend Maddie make up during chorus because we don't want to do what we are supposed to do. More coming soon, so stay tuned!**


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